Not 50/50

November 16, 2018

Hello loves!  I know it's been a minute since you've heard from me via my blog, but I have a little something to say in regards to a clip that I saw with Pastor John Gray.  It's admirable that he is recognizing all that his wife has been to him, and his admitted flaws, and I love the fact that he also values her worth and what she brings into his life.  There is nothing wrong with that, and what he said was his absolute truth. So please don't take what I'm about to say in the wrong way.

 

I realize, that none of us are perfect.  But what is often unfair in society, is this huge expectation that a woman must be "100% together" in order for us to even be considered marriage material, while a man gets a pass and we have to accept them for everything that they are and what they are not.  We have to fall in love with the possibility of what that man could become.  We have to be discerning enough to know that our mate "won't always be like this" and we have to "hold on until the change comes". It's unfair that we are expected to live our lives holding out for something that may never be.  While I applaud Pastor Gray for becoming the man that he should be, there are many men out here that we could potentially become married to who may never reach that potential.  It is wrong to enter a relationship with the mindset of "he's gonna change for the better".  The truth of the matter is, if you enter into a relationship and then into marriage with a person, if this person never changed or advanced for the better from their current state, could you be with them for the rest of your life? I'm not saying don't plan for the future, but our mindset can't be "I'm gonna jump into this and change him as time goes on".   

 

Most of the women that I know are strong and resilient.  We have dealt with unimaginable obstacles and issues of our own, and now, we are expected to be strong enough to nurture GROWN MEN into being their best selves? Where are these same men when we need to be built up?  Oh wait, I forgot, we are supposed to be already "built up" when they find us.  Men are supposed to marry up....so if they are to marry up...does this mean that women are supposed to marry down?  And now I have to be a cover to be a good wife? Who's gonna cover me if the man is broken? 

 

Let me just say, a marriage is not 50/50...it's 100/100...meaning we BOTH need to be whole BEFORE we enter into marriage.  I'm not bringing 50%, and I don't expect for my future spouse to bring 50%.

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